Me for Me Take it or leave it
by Blonde Pixie
Summary: What if Bella were edgy and tough may Edward Cullen finally meet his match.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**I'm Gonna Be Whoever the **

**Hell I Wanna Be**

**Hi okay this is my very first fan fiction and I'm really nervous so please be kind. And just so you know I'm not really sure what I'm doing but I usually have really good stories so I hope you like this one. Also just a warning there will be swears in this and stuff like that.**

B POV

Dear god this is going to be a living hell.

Today was the day that I was moving to Forks cause after my

latest little "problem" my mom decided that she just couldn't

handle me any more.

So she is sending me to live with my dad Charlie in the boring,

rainy, green, catastrophy that is Forks.

And what may you ask is it that I did that sent my non-mother

Renee over the deep end.

Well it all started with my mom's latest dirt bag boy friend Phil.

You see Phil's a real user and he was just using my mom to get

money we didn't have.

So naturally when she couldn't give him any money he started

to beat her.

But you see that was a mistake on his part cause that's when I

walked in and saw what he was doing and that's when I got

mad.

And guess what when I get mad bad things happen to the

people that make me mad.

Phil was making me so mad that I just lost control.

Now before I go on you should know that I'm special I was born

with a temper and I was born tough as I grew my temper went

out of control and what's worse is that I naturally knew how to

fight.

Why does that make it worse you ask well when some body

made me mad I just couldn't help but beat the crap out of them.

And with my short temper that happened a lot.

By the time I was 10 a lot of people were getting hurt.

I'd also discovered that my eyes change color with my mood

and I freaked a lot of people out because I was also freakishly

strong and fast for a 10 year old.

And as I grew I only got stronger, faster, and tougher but at

least I had a better hold on my temper.

And as dangerous as those things might seem to you the most

dangerous thing about me is my looks.

If you saw me you would know what I am talking about.

I'm the most beautiful creature any one will ever see and I know

it.

I have long, thick, shiny, chocolate brown hair that automatically

changes to whatever hair style goes best with my outfit and

attitude that day.

I have perfectly proportioned curves in all the right places, pale

skin but not too pale, red lips, an amazing sense of style, and I'm

just the right height.

I am dangerous so when I saw Phil beating my mom I lost

control.

And now he's in a coma but he's going to make a full recovery.

Even so my mom was furious because she loved him so she

sent me away to live with Charlie who I haven't seen in 7 years

I'm now 17 so the last time I saw him was when I was 10.

So he might be a little shocked by my looks but who cares.

5 Hours Later

I was just heading to get my luggage when Charlie saw me right

at the same moment as I saw him.

I swear his jaw must have dropped at least 10 feet he just stood

there looking shocked and I just smirked and picked up my

luggage.

And the fact that I could carry all my stuff without even

breaking a sweat just made him even more shocked.

The look on his face was hilarious but I refrained from laughing

and started walking towards him. 

Once he realized what he was doing he quickly composed

himself.

Finally I was right in front of him and the first thing he said to

his daughter who he hadn't seen in years was "I can't believe

what you did to that poor man" I got so fucking mad that I just

dropped all my stuff and decked him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok I'm really sorry my last chapter was so short but like I said it was my very **

**first try and I didn't realize it would be that short if that makes any sense to you and I hope it does cause then that would make one of us. So here's the next chapter I'll try to make it longer and I guaranty you that when I start getting into the 5, 6, and up chapters it will be longer it just takes me a while to get into it so thanks for under standing.**

B POV

As soon as I realized what I was doing I made sure that I didn't use all of my strength. But I

Still thought he deserved to get punched so I made no attempt to stop myself. At least now he

knows what he's getting himself into and now he knows not to piss me off. Oh well but man he

went down even faster than I expected I guess he was just caught off guard or just really weak.

but boy when he came up he looked like just saw a ghost but that's a normal reaction to my

amazing strength. And so when he was finally up I said "that man was beating my mother and

he got what was coming to him" I paused for a second to let him process and he seemed to

believe me so I continued "and by the look on your face I'm guessing Renee didn't tell you

about me". He just nodded numbly so I gathered my stuff and started to tell him all about me.

By the time we got to his or now our house I had just finished. And here comes the questions.

"Umm… Bella?" Charlie started "yes" I replied urging him on might as well get this over with now.

"Have you ever… killed anybody?" he asked, wow he was forward but I should've been

expecting that one. So I simply said "no" in a very harsh tone and that seemed to shut him up

mostly because he was afraid I would lose control again and also because my eyes were now

red. "Fine then if you don't have anymore questions then I'm going to unpack" I said trying

unsuccessfully to calm myself. "Ok" was all Charlie said in return, he seemed to have relaxed

now that my eyes were returning to their natural emerald green. When I got to my room I

saw that Charlie had left it exactly as it had been since I was last here with boring yellow walls,

a small single bed with blue and white striped sheets and pillows, and a blue comforter.

In the corner of the room was a rocking chair and beside that an old computer.

Looks like I'm gonna need to give this place a make over. Ok so first I'll unpack then I'll make

this place look like me.

1 ½ hours later

Finally I was done unpacking now to paint. Ah… yes did I mention that I am an amazing painter.

Yup I discovered that when I decided to (decorate) the skate park 2 years ago with a couple

of friends. So any ways I started to (decorate) the whole city so I have a bunch of spray paints.

So I got out my paint opened the window and started painting all these cool designs, then all

my favorite brand names, then the names of all of my friends, and then all of my favorite sayings.

After I was done that I went to take a shower while it dried. I grabbed my toiletries bag and my

PJ's which consisted of a pair of short shorts and a tiny tank top. The hot water felt so nice on

my smooth skin that I wanted to stay in the shower forever but then the hot water ran out and I had to get out.

I got out dried off got dressed and did my hair which took about an hour or so the paint should

be dry by now. So I headed to my bed room where I then put up pictures of all my friends and me.

And I also put up posters of all my favorite bands and snow boarders. By the time I was done

The room really looked like me it was colorful, bold, and edgy. Perfect I thought and by now it

was 11:30 so I put on some NOFX and went to bed where I fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next day I woke to the blare of an alarm clock I got up and found a note saying

Bella, I already signed you up for school today is your first day get up and get ready or else you'll be late I'm already at work so don't be looking for me around the house, have a good first day and I'll see you at supper.

Love, Charlie

So he was the one who put the alarm clock in my room well might as well go to school.

I got up and picked an all brand name outfit that was a Gucci shirt that fit in all the right places

it showed as much skin as possible, a Baby Doll mini skirt, a pair of Pravda high heels, and all

the needed accessories of course. If you're wondering how I can afford all this stuff I do some

modeling when I need money but Renee would never take the money when I offered it but

wouldn't bye anything for me either so I still needed money. And by the way I look I got in

some really famous magazines so I made really good money and I always got to keep the clothes I wore.

When I got dressed my hair decided to pull part of itself back and the part that was down

was curled into ringlets. For make up just some eyeliner, mascara, and lip gloss I didn't need

much make up my face looked better without it. I went down stairs ate a pop tart and when I

went out side to head to school I saw that my red BMW had arrived at last, I had had it shipped

and was hoping it would arrive in time for me to drive my self to school.

Now I was happy I grabbed my tight black leather jacket and my bag and headed to school.

The school wasn't hard to find because it was a small town and the only car in the parking lot

That even came close to being as nice as mine was a shiny silver Volvo. As soon as I stepped

out the car all eyes were on me and I just rolled my eyes. It was silent for one second then

every body started gossiping about the new girl. Great I thought now I have to deal with this.

My eyes were now red and as I walked into the school every body fell silent in fear.

I walked into the front office and calmed myself so my eyes were at least purple and when the

Secretary saw me she gasped and I just smiled. "Hello my name is Bella Swan I'm a new

student here" I said as sweetly as possible no need to scare the crap out of her too.

"Oh yes of course my name is we've been expecting you here is your schedule" she

said and handed me my schedule which I took making sure not too quickly.

I thanked her and headed to my first class biology in building 5 hm… this should be fun.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok to Melissa you are officially my new favorite person you're the only person who reviewed and it was a really nice one too so thank you so much and to every one else please review it means so much to me.**

Hmm… now which one is building 5 I thought as I looked around? I turned around only to see a

tallish, blonde haired, blue eyed, boy with an overly friendly grin on his face. Just great I thought I

knew the type all he wanted to do was get with the hottest girl in school so he could brag about it

with all his idiot friends. But I needed to know where my class was so I put on a fake sweet and

innocent smile and asked "could you tell me where building 5 is?" god I hated being nice to guys

like this but oh well. "Sure sweet heart I'm Mike Newton by the way" he said winking at me.

Ugh did he seriously just call me sweet heart I think I might just puke "Bella Swan and if you could

not call me any thing but Bella that would be great" I said losing my sweet tone as well as losing

control I could tell my eyes would be turning red by now, not that it mattered because he was

staring at my chest any way. "What ever you say" he replied with a smug tone. "That one over

there is building 5" he said pointing to the building with the big five on it. Now how on earth did I

miss that I wondered. "I could walk you there if you want" said Mike. Oh fuck it might as well just

get rid of him once and for all I thought. "You know what I said sassily I have dealt with guys like

you before and I will never want to go out with you and yes I know that's the only reason you

are being so nice to me so here" I said then pulled him down by his shirt and gave him one hell of

a kiss but made sure it was short. "Now leave me alone and don't talk to me unless I directly ask

you a question" I said raising my voice. He looked confused, dazzled, and more confused.

Might as well give the kids here something to talk about. And with that I set out to biology.

As soon as I stepped into the biology every one stopped talking. Wow I guess rumors travel really fast here.

Then one poofy haired girl out of all of them came up to me and looking very snotty said

"I'm Jessica Stanley and that guy you kissed is my boyfriend" oh this is good just from her looks

and attitude I could tell she was the schools gossip girl. "Well Jessica I said sassily your boyfriend

is a tule and I suggest that you dump him." But you kissed him and he's my boyfriend" she wined.

"I'm not sure why I care" I replied maybe it was a little harsh of me but she needed to get the

point that he wasn't worth it anyway. Man was I getting mad I could tell my eyes were starting to

change color they were now purple turning red. So I went to sit down in the only open spot

which was next to this amazingly good looking guy he had shiny bronze hair that was untamable,

I could tell he was tall with a great physique, but the best thing about him was his eyes they were

topaz but as I got near they turned charcoal black almost onyx. Hmm… that's strange I thought.

And then I noticed he was sitting next to the window I was hoping I would get that seat. Maybe he

would move if I asked him nicely so I walked over to his desk stood right in front of him and

waited for him to notice me. My eyes were golden with hoped so that should be an attention

catcher. But even so I didn't expect him to look up as quick as he did. "Hi I'm Bella Swan I'm new

here and the seat next to you is the only one left not that I have a problem with sitting next to you

but would you mind switching seats because I'd like to sit next to the window?" As soon as I was

done I leaned over on his desk just to push it a bit further, I really wanted that seat. Well he just

stared at me in amazement which surprised me considering how handsome he was. "Uh… Edward

Cullen pleased to meet you but if you don't mind I'd like to keep this seat" he replied after what

seemed like a life time. I just stared at him in shock this was the first time ever that I had not

gotten my way with my looks I even tried this time. "O-ok" I said stuttering just a bit my eyes

were now purple with confusion. I went to sit down in the seat next to him. And I was still

confused but I could have sworn I heard him chuckle and that was making me mad. "What?" I

asked angrily and my eyes started turning red. I turned to face my red eyes to his topaz ones and

saw that he was actually looking at my eyes I also saw his shock at the sudden change in color.

"Well he started you just seem like the kind of girl who's used to getting her way through her

Looks yet you don't flaunt **( flaunt basically dress trashy put your boobs in the guys face you know basically just be a slut** )

like other girls, although it seems to me like this is the first time you haven't gotten your way" by

the time he finished my eyes were black with rage and it was extremely difficult to keep from

tearing this guy to shreds. "Look, I warned him I don't know who you are but I suggest that you

try not to make me angry for your own safety" he looked absolutely shocked it was hilarious.

His mouth was hanging open and his eyes were as big as saucers. "Don't want any flies to get in

there now do we? He immediately shut his mouth and righted himself. "How do your eyes do that"

he questioned trying to take the attention off himself but I wasn't having that. "How do yours"?

And that shut him up for good.


	4. Please read this it explains alot

**Ok to the people who gave me constructive criticism thank you I love constructive criticism and it helps me so please don't think that **

**You were too harsh and please don't feel bad don't worry I can take it. Second of all I'm sorry that my writing has been all to the **

**right my computer got messed up but I think I got it now. Third of all I'm sorry to be making Bella sort of bitchy she's actually still**

**that same kind person but she just has a hard exterior you'll find out why later on. Also I know that in the third chapter I make her **

**sound kind of slutty but trust me every thing will pan out later on I promise. And last but not least, to the people who commented on**

**my grammar thank you but please under stand I do this in my free time and quite honestly I don't have much of it. So if you read this**

**thank you I hope it explained every thing you wrote about or were wondering about. **


	5. Chapter 4

**Hey I'm sooo… sorry I haven't updated in like forever please don't hate me.**

Finally class ended with the annoying beep of the bell and as soon as it did I saw Edward Cullen speeding for the door way but I wanted to talk to him so I used my speed and cut him off.

At first he looked shocked but then he just looked angry but it's not like I was afraid so I just said "you know you never told me how your eyes did that".

That ought to break his calm exterior I decided right then and there that I was going to be the one to give this guy life, passion, and feeling I am going to break through his barriers.

Well it worked now he was really angry he thought he was going to scare me so he came really close probably expecting me to back away, well he obviously didn't know me because I stayed right put.

He sneered at me and I just laughed evilly, gave him a devilish smile and said "you should really just accept that with me you can't win".

Now all I saw in him was pure lust so I decided to push it a little bit further I grabbed him by the shirt, slammed him up against the lockers and whispered in his ear "so stop resisting and let me break down those walls".

Then I walked off to my next class leaving him dazed, confused, and a little scared but a good scared.

E POV

I couldn't believe this girl first she actually has the raw nerve to try and charm me into giving her my seat and now she was blocking my way when I was only trying to get away to save her. She was like no one I'd ever smelt or seen or heard. She smelt like pure sugar like… heaven it's the only way to describe it.

She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen with a perfect body, perfect skin, eyes that changed color on a regular basis and she dressed to compliment her shape.

And not only did she have the perfect body but her face and hair I swear the way she looked she could have been hell's angel or something because she certainly was not from heaven.

She had long dark brown hair almost black even full blood red lips and her skin was almost if not as pail as mine.

And from the way she carried her self and acted you could tell she was fearless and extremely confident.

And now here she was saying that I never actually told her how my eyes changed color well needless to say that got me mad I think I'll take her down a few notches.

I leaned really close to her and when she didn't back away I sneered at her but she was completely unnerved all she did was laugh as if my attempt to scare her had been completely futile.

But that wasn't it no she smiled the devil's smile and god she looked sooo… sexy I almost couldn't resist to kiss her.

Then she leaned even closer to me like she was going to kiss me but instead said "you should really just accept that with me you can't win" and with those words all my desire to drink her dry was replaced with pure lust for her.

She must have seen this because the next thing I knew I was being slammed into a locker where she came extremely close and whispered in my ear "so stop resisting and let me break down those walls".

Then left leaving me dazed, confused, and the best kind of scared.


	6. Chapter 5 Stranger in the night

**Hey guys really liked the reviews I got even though I didn't get much of them so I decided to try and update sooner than usual. Oh and also I want to change the title because I think it's kind of long and also I want some thing more eye catching so if you have any ideas at all they would be much appreciated.**

**E POV**

**After that the rest of the day was just a blur. That was until Alice had a vision that I saw through her mind. I saw me and Bella in my meadow kissing passionately it looked as if I was human although I knew it could never come true it gave me some sort of hope. As soon as it ended Alice squealed and started prancing around the house singing "Edward's gonna get a girl, Edward's gonna get a girl" over and over again. I knew that soon everyone would hear her and come to ask me questions that I didn't know how to answer so I left not knowing where I was going I just let me feet take me where they please.**

**As it was when I ended up at Bella's house it was 11:00 pm. I didn't even remember how I ended up here but I knew why I was here I had to figure out this girl. Why I couldn't read her mind, why she wasn't afraid of me, why her blood called to me so, and most of all why I felt so… attached to her after only one day.**

**I saw that her window was open and quickly scaled the wall and climbed through. Inside I saw her sleeping peacefully except for every now and then she would mumble something as I listened I heard that it was my name she was saying, she was dreaming of me! When I realized she was having a night mare all I wanted to do was comfort her so I crept over and kissed her softly on the cheek. Then the most unexpected, scary thing happened.**

**B POV **

**I found my self dreaming of Edward that night I dreamt that I was on a beach with him and just as we were about to kiss he began to run away I tried to use my speed but all my special skills were gone and he was fading away. I screamed after him but he didn't even look back. I then collapsed and started bawling my eyes out rolling around on the beach where I was eventually swallowed by the ocean.**

**As I was starting to wake up from this horrible nightmare felt something cold on my cheek and immediately jolted out of bed, opened my eyes, grabbed whoever was in front of me by the neck and pushed them onto my bed with more strength then I would usually use but it was needed as the person was almost as strong as I was which I had thought was impossible. As my eyes adjusted I found that staring back at me was Edward Cullen in the flesh.**

**Okay I know it's really short but it's late and I'm trying to go undetected by my mom. So please forgive me and ****REVIEW!!!!!**


	7. Chapter 7 body language

B POV

I didn't know what to do Edward had stopped struggling and now we we're just gazing at each other it was like we we're in the same dream with no language to speak but that of our bodies.

Finally my body just left leaving my mind behind and when it caught up I found myself kissing him it was amazing I poured all my emotions into it all my strength and some how I knew that it wouldn't hurt him.

All of a sudden he flipped me over at first I thought he was going to run but instead he kissed me hard but full of emotion then ran for the window but I was quick and blocked it just in time "why would you leave?" I said.

"Because I have to" he replied in a rough but some how soft and mournful tone. And with that he was gone deep into the night.

The next day I practically crawled out of bed and sat on the floor thinking about the events of last night knowing that it couldn't have been a dream it was far too real but the thing I didn't know was how I was going to face him at school although I had a pretty good idea.

Then all of a sudden a thought popped into my head while I was trying to figure out what he was I forgot that I actually didn't know what I was. Hmm… maybe a umm… ok let's try witch I closed my eyes put my hands out and imagined a punching bag then flicked my wrists and opened my eyes. Nothing, ok I think we've ruled out witch well I'm stumped I'll check the archives after school today.

For now I have to get ready for school hmm… "let's make hard for Edward today shall we girls" I said talking to my breasts. Then walked down the hall to take a shower. After my shower my hair was left down in with a sexy sort of messy, edgy, curled, wavy thing except for my bangs which were pulled back with a rhinestone clip.

For clothes I chose a pair of form fitting skinny Sevens jeans and a chocolate camisole T-Bags top. For make-up black MAC eyeliner, some smoky eye shadow, and red long wear lip luster. I looked in the mirror and saw that my eyes were fluorescent blue for mischievous. Good I thought as I put on my high black spike heel boots.

When I got down stairs I made bacon and eggs for myself because Charlie had already left for work which is good because if he saw me in this outfit I think he'd have a hernia. When I got to school the first thing I saw was Edward Cullen's car at the very far end with him leaning against it when he saw me I could tell he was about to book it for the school but I wanted to talk to him so I went and stopped him right at the hood of his car and slammed him down on the hood but not hard enough to dent it. "I thought we'd established that I was faster than you" I said sounding a lot fiercer than I meant. Then as if he had a timer built in to intervene at the worst possible moment the principle came and started yelling "you two Cullen and Swan stop what you are doing right now and get to class immediately!"

"Sure principal Gala we'll get to class right away" I said each word dripping with sarcasm and surliness. "Right away principal Gala" said Edward sounding like a school boy with a stick up his ass. "Take a walk on the wild side once in a while not everybody deserves your respect" I whispered in Edward's ear as I passed him.

"Swan" the principal yelled "in my office immediately!" Oh tell me he was not trying to tell me what to do I could feel the anger rising inside of me and knew it was futile to try to contain it all of a sudden I couldn't take it anymore I turned to face him my eyes dark red only to find him just inches away from me oh this was not good inside me was a battle raging I knew I couldn't hurt the principal if I wanted to stay here so I said "fine" although I more like growled it and headed to his office.

By the time he was finished his long boring lecture then lectured me again once he found I was sleeping for the first one it was lunch time and I was starving. Once I got to the cafeteria I found that there was no space except for at the Cullen table because Edward wasn't there "probably went to the bathroom" I thought knowing that I couldn't face him without making out with him I decided to eat outside. As I walked through the halls to my locker I couldn't believe how much I was lusting for Edward I found it hard even now to walk without him near me I have got to get over this I thought as I headed out the doors.

As I got to the picnic tables I saw the one and only Edward Cullen leaning against a tree. As I was passing him to get to a table he stopped me to start to explain himself. As he neared me I began to breathe heavily even being near him was too much. I got an almost pained look on my face. "Are you ok?" he asked ok this is just too much I thought, and before I knew what I was doing I pinned him against a tree and said "I don't care what you were doing in my room last night all I care about is that right now it's killing me not kissing you" and with that I locked him in a passionate kiss. Without breaking our kiss he flipped us over so that he was the one pinning me. "Finally taking control" I whispered into our kiss. "Finally with me" he whispered in return.


	8. Chapter 8 Tears Forgotten

Hello peoples I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while but I am now, now I think that there will be some confusion with this chapter so let's just get everything cleared up now it's a month later from there previous encounter it's been pretty much lust and no love since then and there both having mixed feelings about that. So in conclusion I hope you enjoy this chapter it will be slightly darker than my previous chapters but I write to match my mood.

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B POV

It had been pretty much making out and feeling each other up ever since then we didn't talk in school or after school for that matter we just started kissing after school in my room. Which Edward was always in when I got home. I didn't even bother asking how got there we had come to the silent conclusion that we just shouldn't ask. I could tell that Edward wanted something deeper and so did I but I had trained myself to hurt the people who were even moderately capable of hurting me. I could take a hit to my body that was fine but I would not and could not let myself get hurt emotionally. I couldn't let anyone in and risk getting hurt that wasn't the way I was built. When I was young my life was falling apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it all I could do was just wait for it to crumble and rebuild. So that's what I did but to make sure that it would never happen again I built up walls all around me metaphorically speaking of course. And I would go to these places where I knew I would get put down just to test them, to make them stronger, build them higher and now no one could penetrate them no matter how hard they tried, no one would be able to hurt me but no one would be able to love me either and I wouldn't need anyone to take care of me. So as you can see the problem was that Edward wanted to have some one to take care of and I didn't need to be taken care of we were a horrible match as long as I kept those walls up.

In the end I couldn't bare to keep them up I wanted it to finally work with some one and I wanted Edward to be that some one. So there I was in the middle of a gorgeous meadow about to tell Edward everything I knew about myself. I ended up in this meadow because when I told Edward I needed to talk to him he said he knew a perfect private place that we could go to talk.

"Ok" I said "I know that you don't want to tell me about you and I really don't want to tell you about me, but I think we should because I'm so tired of keeping a secret so big, I'm tired of having to hold back, I'm tired of not ever being able to be me, and most of all I'm tired of the fact that if this keeps going on I'll probably lose you before I know you". I was talking in a desperate tone hoping that he wouldn't think I was some love struck teenager. Oh my god this feels like forever why isn't he answering "I know that it must be hard for you to trust me" I said "but if you want… I can tell you every thing I know about me as long as you tell me what you are".

E POV

I didn't know what to say I really wanted to know what she was talking about, what she is, who she is, and I think that if she's willing to trust me this much, I mean can tell that this hard for her I feel like she's finally being the real Bella, I think I should be able to finally let go and trust someone. "Bella…" I started "I think that… you have no idea about the extent of my secret, who I am, what I am, and I have the feeling that it's vice versa so I think that if you're willing to trust me then I should be able to trust you". God I can't believe I'm saying this I'm so stupid this girl's got you wrapped around her finger and now your trapped.

B POV

I took a deep breath and began "well I don't actually know what I am believe it or not" I paused to see his reaction but he was just staring a me intently absorbing me each and every word, although it was quite unnerving I continued. " I do know that I have incredible speed and strength, my eyes change color according to my mood, my hair does itself according to what it thinks will look best, I know that's really weird but it's true, and my most dangerous characteristic is that when I get so mad that my eyes turn black I almost can't control what I do I black out sometimes, sometimes I'm completely aware but I always end up hurting the person that made me mad". Tears were starting to well up in my eyes as I thought back to all those times I had hurt people because I couldn't control my temper. I hadn't cried in 3 years and now that Edward was here he… he brought out a me that felt things instead of protecting myself. But I knew I had to keep going so I swallowed and said "and the worst part is that I have a terrible temper and I can rarely control it and I am constantly in fear that one day that someone will make me so mad that..." the tears were spilling over now and I couldn't stop them I was admitting my greatest fear to him "that I'll kill someone" I said so low that it was almost inaudible but some how I knew he heard me. And now I'd just have to see if he would stay.

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Just in case anyone was wondering my musical insparation for this was Black Out and Time Is Running Out both br Muse and Speeding Cars and Hide And Seek both by Imogen Heap, just in case you were wondering.


	9. Chapter 9 Silent Pain

**I only have one thing to say to you people and that is REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please.**

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B POV

I was just sitting there balling my eyes out and whenever I looked up he was just staring at me, not holding me, not saying that I could never do something like and or that everything would be alright. Because we both knew that nothing was ok about this and I think we both knew that I was defiantly capable of killing someone, but I what I wanted to hear from him was that he thought I was a good person that even though I could kill someone that he didn't think I would. But I didn't know if any of that was true either maybe he really did think I was a monster. And that thought made me cry even harder, but still he wouldn't come to comfort me and I don't know why I thought he would no one else ever had. Why should I think he was any different "because you love him" said the unreasonable part of my mind that actually hoped. "I should go" I said standing up and pausing a part of me hoping that he would stop me I waited there I don't for how long just looking at him. When he finally looked I looked him in the eyes pleading him to stop me with my own eyes that were now a deep, deep blue but he just sat there doing nothing, saying nothing. So I left with tears streaming down my face blurring my vision. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care I just had to go somewhere far, far away from the heartbreak I was feeling. And suddenly I stopped looked around I could feel myself falling apart with pain "no" I whispered to no one in particular "no this can't happen again" I was now screaming as I sunk to the soft earth crying in all around pain as it started to rain and I blacked out.

E POV

I can't believe I just let her go in so much pain not to mention that I was the one causing her this pain with my silence. I just couldn't believe that she thought she would actually kill someone I just couldn't deal with the fact that she was so different from the Bella I knew "but you never really knew her" I thought. And with that I ran after her trying to figure out how I could catch her when she was just as fast as me, and that's when it dawned on me she would have to stop to catch her breath sometime after all she still relied on breathing to live it was necessary for her. So now all I have to figure out is wich way she went and that when I heard a scream "Bella" I whispered.


	10. Chapter 10

E POV

I found her on the ground writhing in pain and if i could cry I would have. I didn't want to cause her pain all I wanted to do was make her feel better. I picked her up and cradled her against my chest sobbing, and as I sobbed I murmured her name "Bella, Bella, Bella…., come back to me Bella, I love you Bella" over and over. Her pain was my pain and when she slowly came back into consciousness I knew what she needed to hear "I love you Bella and even though I'm sure you could kill someone I know in the depths of my soul that you never would" and with that I kissed her softly and tenderly wanting to mend all the wounds I had created.

B POV

I kissed him back and it wasn't the usual wild lust filled kiss, it was full of love and I felt it in my entire being it was so new and fresh all my walls had been utterly obliterated and yet I didn't hurt I felt everything on an entirely new level. And I knew that it was because of Edward "I love you too Edward" I said with a small smile on my face. I was in his lap holding him face in my hands and we were both soaked from the rain but we just couldn't stop staring at each other, he was staring at my with a goofy grin on his face that was filled with such love it made me blush. "You look so pretty when you blush" he said and that just made me blush more, seeing this he chuckled softly and said "How about I take you back to my place to dry off and warm up" "That sounds perfect" I said "We can warm each other up" I added with a mischievous smile on my face. And then he had an expression that was a mix of love and lust on his face that matched mine exactly and we met in the middle for a kiss. I reveled in the feeling of his lip moving with mine as we tried to get even closer and with our hands in each other hair we sat there kissing until I finally had to come up for a breath. Then we set off for Edwards house and I was suddenly wondering why he didn't have to breath, thinking back I don't think he was breathing at all. I suddenly stopped turned to Edward and said "When we get to your house you have some explaining to do".


End file.
